7/28/07: Yes, I'm Afraid. So What?

I used to want to be fearless. But now I realize that it's not so much about being fearless as it is about being unafraid of being afraid.

We think ridding ourselves of fear will give us the strength to do all the things we were afraid to do. While that may be true, there is another, more easily attainable way.

Instead of fighting to rid yourself completely of fear, which often makes the fear stronger, simply give in to the idea of being afraid. When you realize that it's ok to be afraid and that you can be afraid and still work through it, you become alive. Your senses become engaged, your entire body awakens and you find your true self within your fear, you find your strength and courage, faith and trust.

You no longer shrink back in the face of fear. The next time fear rears its head, you can stand firm and welcome it, knowing that you're not afraid of it; you're not afraid of being afraid.

Perhaps that is the true meaning of conquering fear. Not an absolute eradication of it, but an open allowing of it. In allowing it, we move from paralysis, where we let fear control us, to freedom, where we become the controllers of fear. And in the controlling, we need not push against it, manipulate or deny it, we simply see it and shout in the face of it, “Yes, I'm afraid! So what?”

And we keep moving forward.

Now when fear overtakes me, I stand up to it and smile. I say with a full welcome, “Bring it on!” because I know that there is a freer me, waiting on the other side of it, and the only way to get there is through the fear. And I step into it and come out on the other side, stronger, freer, better for having been through it.

I am not afraid of being afraid.