7/26/07: Come out, come out, whoever you are
It is possible to spend many years with someone and not know a single thing of substance about them.
It is also possible to spend a single moment with someone and know many things of substance about them.
Getting known and knowing others is a choice. Revealing yourself is a choice. Hiding behind your masks is also a choice.
Far too many of us go through our entire lives without a single person knowing who we are. We wear masks, hiding behind our fear, insecurity, shame and doubt.
While we yearn desperately for others to see us, the moment someone spots a glimpse of our true being, we shrink back, put on our mask and quickly detach.
Many of us don't even realize we're wearing them because we've been wearing them for so long. Many of us don't even recognize our reaction of shrinking back; it has become an unconscious habit.
Pay attention to yourself. When a real moment is offered, notice when and how you shrink back. Do you look away? Do you fidget? Do you laugh? Do you change the subject? Do you get angry? Do you criticize the other person, silently or verbally? Do you get offended or defensive? Do you avoid or ignore them? Do you feign indifference, become uninterested or aloof?
In the moment of retreat, you have a choice. You can give in to your fear; you can let your mask control you. Or you can remain present and face it; you can control your mask.
Masks not only block others from seeing you, they also block you from seeing others.
It takes a lot of courage to remove your masks and let someone see you. It takes a lot of courage to remove your masks and see others.
Because when you see someone, you also have to be present and accountable for that authentic moment with them. And you cannot be present and hide behind a mask at the same time.
Let someone get to know you. Get to know someone. Take the risk, take off your masks.
When you control your masks instead of letting them control you, you become free to be fully present, fully alive and fully YOU. And you become free to have rich, full and authentic relationships with yourself and with others.
