3/24/05: Happiness and Genetics

If you think you need a partner to make you happy, or a better job, more money, bigger house, more friends, etc., I urge you to reconsider. Many people tell me they know happiness lies within, but for them, somehow, it doesn't. For them, they need to have someone or something. They were just born that way, they say. I am here to tell you that no one is born with a gene that determines what you must have in order to be happy.

You are in full control over your own happiness. It is true that genetics plays a role in your general disposition and temperament, however, genetics does not decide the avenue through which you must find fulfillment. There is no dormant "happy" gene inside you waiting around saying, "if he gets a girl, then I will come alive and be happy." It simply is not true.

The millions of cells that make up your body are living, thinking, feeling cells. Your thoughts and feelings determine their state of existence. When you are happy, your cells physically vibrate with happiness. You can literally create happy cells inside you by merely thinking happy thoughts. They don't care whether you are happy because you just met your soul mate or because you feel an inner surge of confidence. To them, happy is happy; the reason for it is irrelevant.

To you, however, the reason for it may be extremely relevant. When you base your happiness on anything other than WHO YOU ARE, you become dependent on external forces over which you have no control. You become a gambler in a game of chance. When you look within yourself for happiness, you become the dealer with full capacity over your own joy.

External forces will come and go throughout your life; they are beyond your control. Internal forces, on the other hand, are solely at your mercy. When you choose to base your happiness on who you are instead of what you have, you create a source of happiness that will follow you wherever you go for the rest of your life.