2/11/08: Little Shifts, Big Changes

If there is something about your life that you do not like, continuing to talk about your displeasure of it will not change it. This applies to qualities you dislike in yourself and in others, objects, circumstances and situations.

When we talk about our dislike of something, whether we are justified in our disliking or not, we are putting our attention on dissatisfaction. And what you put your attention on increases. You will continue to draw to you dissatisfying things, including more of the thing you were focused on when you were dissatisfied.

Many of us think that if there is a problem in our lives, we need to spend time thinking about it, gathering opinions about it, contemplating, analyzing and working through it.  But thinking about something while feeling displeasure will not make the thing go away, no matter how long or hard you think about it.

Instead, find a way to soothe yourself about the dissatisfying thing. It is difficult to make the leap from not liking something to fully accepting and appreciating it. So start by telling yourself things like, “I don’t like this very much right now, but it’s not permanent. It can change and I know it will change. I don’t know how or when but maybe I could start believing little by little that it will. ”

Then focus on the change you wish to see. Think about how things would be if you had your way, imagine it, mull it over, marinate in it. Start talking about things as you would like to have them, rather than the way they seem to be right now.

All it takes is a little shift in thought to create huge change.